Most of our external behaviors occur due to the inner condition of the mind. Let us take a far out approach on improving ourselves in the New Year.
Love and Accept yourself
This is the foundation for what everything else must be built upon. Once this is done, you can safely navigate and start to love other people without being dependent on their actions. So much conflict in the world occurs because people feel empty on the inside and are dependent on one another for love.
These people need other people to validate their existence. When expected outcomes aren’t met, it leads to judgment, jealousy, anger, and a host of other negative emotions.
Realize that the only work to be done, is on yourself. Just work on yourself and everything else will fall into place. As a personal trainer, I know I can’t force anyone to do anything until they have consciously made that decision for themselves.
You must realize that what happened in the past is in the past.You may have made mistakes or have done some things you have regretted. It is horrible for the psyche to constantly let these actions stay alive in YOUR head. Let them go and forgive. The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Take what you can from these experiences and learn to cultivate awareness so that these same experiences don’t occur again. It’s funny to think how many times certain experiences occurred over and over in my life because I was not aware of the actions that led up to them. In the end, it is okay to make mistakes – you are taking the curriculum of life.
“Our language has wisely sensed the two sides of being alone. It has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich
I remember the first time I entered the float tank and was completely alone with my own thoughts. I thought, “Who was this person, and why was he swirling my head around with all these negative thoughts?” Panic immediately set in as I listened to what was inside me. I couldn’t stand to be alone with myself because I hadn’t truly accepted who I was yet. I took a few deep conscious breaths, relaxed, and laid back in the tank. I decided I needed to get to know and love myself, and it has been amazing to witness what that process has started. All it took was a little perspective shift on the filter which I see life through.
- Cultivate awareness so you are fully aware of actions and the consequences of those actions.
- Realize you are perfect even with your faults and imperfections
- Meditate and practice Yoga so the body and mind are clear, grounded, and supple. Big fan of HEADSPACE App
- Don’t be afraid to truly be yourself and spontaneous.
- It won’t happen over-night. Just enjoy the process.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Phase out people that are bringing your life down
I mentioned in a previous article how the people you surround yourself with will start to rub off on you. Humans are social creatures and we pick up a lot of the habits and mannerism from the people we constantly interact with.
If someone is not a positive role model or causing pointless drama in your life, it is okay to phase them out of it. It makes me think of this quote by William Gibson, “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.” Once you have phased out the negative, you can start to attract positivity into your life – the type of friendships that are deep and have substance.
Through this process, your friends might not like seeing yourself improve because deep down they are still too afraid to do the same for themselves. So these “friends” might actually try to sabotage you as you make progression towards a healthier you.
People like comfort and security, and like to put people in boxes. Without realizing that life and humans are dynamic, certain people don’t know what to do once you have changed. If this occurs, just be consciously aware of what is taking place. From there, decide if these are people that make life fulfilling or depressing.
Kill The Fear
Humans enjoy comfort and security. However, the natural laws of the universe are not static, and eventually chaos is injected into the order. Because of this, you must get comfortable being uncomfortable.
We are fearful to be ourselves and worry if others will reject who we really are. We are fearful to take risks because of the unknown. We are fearful of failure. But, realize there is a staleness to this state. There is no learning without attempting and failing.
I use to be super neurotic. A lot of which I brought upon myself by staying within my comfort zone. If anything caused anxiety in me, I would use my logic to bash or work around the stressor. I eventually got to a point where I realized this was no way to live. So now, whenever I get anxious, I try to go through with said action or event.
Most of the time, our minds make up hypothetically situations that never end up playing out in reality. So if you just do the thing that is scary to you, you realize it was never as bad as you initially thought it would be. Overtime, as you continue this process, things just get easier and easier. It is just like doing bicep curls – the more you do it over time, the easier that initial weight is going to be.
Just remember you are going to die one day. Do you really want it to always be fearful? I can assure you, no long term happiness will be found there. There is one thing you can have full control over in this universe – it is yourself. So kill the fear and start living life. Start a new hobby, create, be passionate about something.
Make 80% of your food intake fresh plants and/or lean organic animals.
This is the most important aspect to how you will feel, think, and sustain your body. Food is the fuel for your brain and other metabolic functions. Our animal bodies developed when only foods from the natural world existed. So it would make sense that processed foods are very taxing on our organs.
Along with this, these processed foods also aren’t providing you with the proper chemicals that your body needs to successfully sustain itself. If you are constantly injecting fast food and processed food into your body, you are just slowly poisoning yourself. One look at the average American and you can witness how these poisons have manifested illness in our population.
You have a whole system of microbes that live in your gut. When you eat, think about what these little guys want to eat to be healthy – mostly plants a.k.a fiber a.k.a “prebiotics”
I understand that it can be hard to switch over from processed to a healthy wholesome diet. Many of these foods are highly addicting and for a lot of people, it can be the only short-term happiness they can attain. Trust me though, the improvements you witness and feel will completely motivate you to continue with a natural diet.
Eventually, your awareness and connection to your body will manifest food cravings that your body actually needs – this is what I have witnessed in my own life. Sometimes, I even go through periods where I will fast for part of a day. I just listen to what my body wants me to do.
Also, I am not perfect or picky. If someone is making dessert, I will indulge. Because I know the majority of my diet is wholesome, I know it can handle treats here and there without drastic side effects. Treat your body right because it deserves it.
- Slowly phase out processed junk food with healthy alternatives. Too many restrictions at one time can cause binging.
- Drink as much water as possible. Don’t keep soda or other sugary drinks in your household. If they aren’t conveniently around, you aren’t going to drink them as often.
- Start cooking and preparing your own meals. Connect with the food that sustains you.
- Go to Farmer’s Markets to see what is in season.
- Try to make the majority of your diet plants.
- Read food labels. If you don’t know an ingredient, google it and know what is going into your body.
- Take a 60 second cold shower – It’ll shock you to move towards change
- It isn’t going to happen over-night. Enjoy the journey.
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Hey I’m Trey! I’m a personal trainer located in Birmingham, Alabama. Get the attention and help you deserve and contact me today.